the truth about girls

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i find it hilarious that my guy pals from JC have only just recently entered the dating game. i honestly had no idea what they were doing in 6 years of co-ed school. it’s almost like they finally woke up in uni and realized that their male biological clock was slowly ticking away. and they were 6 years and 3 girlfriends lagging behind everyone else.

and upon finding out that they’ve absolutely wasted most of their school life failing to collect useful information on how to understand the opposite sex, they are now asking me for all sorts of tips and tricks on how to score a girl, as well as rules involved when dealing with girls.

i doubt everyone has the same views on the following, but i’ve decided to post an FAQ here to help them out in their first conquest anyway.


1. when is the right time to pop the question

there really isn’t a right time. to some, 1 month can be too fast. to others, 2 weeks of not making a move and they’ve moved on to the next target because you’ve exceeded your alloted time. so a better measure would be to count on the status of your situation. the following checklist may be of some help:

things you should check off before popping the question

a) mutual flirtation

b) at least 5 one-on-one dates

c) some form of physical contact. e.g: leaning, brushing of the hands, use your imagination etc.

d) if possible, confirmation from a mutual friend that is a green light to go. this includes confirmation that there are no other suitors potentially better than you, or boyfriends that she’s not telling you about. whatever it is, cheating is wrong.

e) a material gift (of the appropriate size)


2. what medium should you use to pop the question

a) face-to-face

always the best because you can see the exact facial expression that would form in response to your question. if it’s one of disgust, just pretend you never even asked.

the downside though, even if she says no initially, ask “why?” she could’ve been thrown off guard (most likely due to incompletion of items on the checklist i mentioned earlier) by the sudden question and girls tend to say no if they have absolutely no idea what to say.

b) facebook chat/msn/sms

if you are anticipating an embarrassing rejection…

if the answer had been yes though, dammit you need to go back and ask face-to-face because it would be absolutely unromantic and wussy of you to tell people how you actually popped the question.


3. if a girl tells you about her relationship problems, does it imply she likes you?

no: you’re just her bitch who might offer her advice from a guy’s perspective

yes: in a twisted way, she’s telling you what she actually expects from you if you were to be her bf

but generally, no…

if a girl were truly interested in you, why would she jeopardize any chances by whining about how she’s having an awful lot of problems with other guys- that by itself, is definitely a major turnoff don’t you think?


4. what are some ways to get a girl out on a date

a) the conventional movie and dinner.

movie first, then dinner. so that if you ever run out of stuff to talk about, awkward silences can be filled with discussion about a common topic- the movie you just watched together.

b) dinner

if you are daring and have enough common topics to last through the most nerve-wrecking 2 hours of your life

c) study dates

best solution to fill any form of uncomfortable silence.


5. making moves on Valentine’s day

the unfortunate time of the year when it can be really awkward to do anything at all if you’re completely uncertain about the status of your relationship with a girl. but i’d say, if you completed half of the items in the checklist, get either her 1 stalk sunflower.  3 roses might mean “i love you” and a whole elaborate bouquet would force her to feel obligated to enjoy the gesture.


6. making moves on her birthday

this is the most personal day of the year that is just the most outright excuse for you to tick off another item on that checklist. however, this part is the hardest to nail because you’d have to know what exactly to get her. a girl secretly loves a boy who knows what exactly to get her on events like these. get something she hates –> blacklisted forever.

but fret not, if she is already into you. she’d probably forgive you and instruct you specifically on what to get next time.

one more rule: no stuffed toys please………i’m sure we’re all well past that phase of life. show her that you are a mature and worthy candidate by getting a mature and worthy gift 😛


7. if a girl says “you’d make a good boyfriend”, does it imply that she likes you?

tough one. it really depends on her character.

if she’s an obvious flirt who tends to be easygoing around all her guy friends, chances are, she’s probably said it to everyone else.

but if otherwise, then it might be the opportunity for you to tick off “mutual flirtation” on that little checklist of yours!


good luck boyz…


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