drunken woes

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friday night was strange. because for once, i could not think of any more excuses to avoid company outings. so i found myself going back to work at 5pm, after taking the day off (in attempt to show that i wont make it at first), to follow the rest of my colleagues to lao pa sat in the blistering evening heat for dinner.

the weather that night was seriously killing me in my black jeans, and lao pa sat is anything but a place to cool it off. the food wasnt that great either, because by the time gen and i had gone and ordered drinks for everyone, the satay on the table had all been wiped out completely. and of all the people i could have possibly sat next to, it was bitch face.

omg she was droning on all night about her daughter calling her every 5 minutes to ask where she is. and when her daughter does call, she talks in an annoying child-like voice and tries to catch someone’s attention at the table to show how dramatically irritated she is by her little one.

‘mummy is coming home later okays??’

‘no you cannot come! becaush its sho hot!’

look missy, i dont give a shit.

and then the whole time after getting to know genevieve’s name, she kept calling her ‘gen’ and adding ‘e-vieve’ 2 seconds later, to humour herself.

ok ok so i was saying, the food wasnt that great. because the sting ray at whampoa and adam road tastes a whole lot nicer. the vege was too hard. the mutton satay wasnt soft and as minced as the touter claimed it to be.

‘number 1, madam! i never bluff you one, honest-to-goodness. mine is minced.’

the only consolation was the after-party. haha ya la, hard to believe that a bunch of old fogeys actually knew what an after-party was. they brought us all to Harry’s for drinks, where i recommended gen a screaming orgasm, much to the horror of my boss. she kept asking both of us to scream for the rest of the a-p.

wth then they ordered a graveyard and waterfall, or whatever its called, for gen’s mum because it was her last day. a burly female bartender came with 2 glasses, once had transparent liquid while the other was brown. then she torched the former till blue flames were circling the top of the alcohol. then she shoved a straw to gen’s mum, and told her to start drinking once she pours the glass of flaming alcohol into the bottom glass.

haha WTFFFF the bottom glass started spitting out blue flames once the flaming alcohol was poured in, and sally struggled to suck down the hot liquid. the bartender kept making her change straws because they would melt. haha all of us simply stared in horror as sally cringed and drank, until a point where she could not take it anymore because the alcohol became too hot.

so cooool!

the rest of the a-p was complete lameness because everyone was laughing like mad drunkards even though there was barely enough alcohol on the table to get anyone drunk. at one point, someone (who only had ribena to drink) was insisting that her boss was Beyonce before plastic surgery.

gen’s face did turn crimson red after her screaming orgasm hahaha, and the both of us sad there in sober stupor and ate salted peanuts together.

what a night. next time i’ll kill myself if i dont come up with a better excuse to escape company things like this.


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