phish food part II

monday was the day i took off and went down to qian hu fish farm to have my feet turned into fish food for a day.

oh my gawwd, the stupid fish farm is probably one of the most inaccessible places in singapore. getting from choa chu kang interchange to the bus stop outside home team academy was fine. but that was followed by a fricking 20 minutes walk to the damn farm. almost like walking across the causeway into malaysia. why do fish farms need to be situated in such forested areas? cannot put the fishes next to civilisation meh? imagine, people go and buy cheap cheap fish from qian hu fish farm. and if they dont drive, and are too poor to afford a cab, they have to balance the tank of water and fishes for 20 minutes until they reach the bus stop. by then, most of the water would have evaporated and the fishes would have died.

and they you’d have to walk 20 minutes back to get a new tank.

anywayy. its no wonder the farm markets its fish spa service at one of the cheapest rates in the whole of singapore – because if it were any more expensive, no one would bother travelling all the way there.

inclusive of the $10 per half and hour, plus 30 cents for any additional minute, they give out free slippers and good morning brand towels. haha the slippers were the market ones la, so i didnt feel cheapo enough to go pick one out for my size. i wanted the good morning towel though, but decided not to stuff a wet fishy-smelling free towel into my bag.

once i had put my feet into the water, all the fishes fled for dear life. haha but that’s cos its their natural instinct and not because my feet smell like hell or anything.

and then they started flocking back to suck at the microscopic algae on my feet that is their food. that, was most ticklish. haha i found it difficult to refrain from kicking away the fishes in the first few minutes. but once i had settled down, the poor fishes, immune to my initial rejection, were back to bite at my toes.

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unfortunately my feet werent as popular among the fishes as mat’s was. but thats because he wears stinky socks and soccer boots all day until an entire kingdom of microscopic algae are thriving between his toes.

the algae-eating-fishes must have grown to double its size within the half an hour that matin’s feet were there.

that’s why i’d like to introduce you to the MONSTER FISHES. they are pretty harmless anyway, because most of the time, they are swimming around and not eating anything – so fat surely so full as well.

but during they rare occasions that they do attack, it feels like being kidnapped by perverts with a foot fetish and who are now kissing your feet – bloody frightening.

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imagine 3 mouths sucking at one spot. oh my shit i was biting my tongue so hard to endure the major itch as i took this shot.

and then KING OF THE FOOT SUCKERS came to visit

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it was a miracle my ankle hadnt been torn into multiple pieces in that half an hour of bizarre foot-eating activity.

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haha tried my hands too but they were so smooth already so no fishes were interested in them. needless to say, mat’s hands were more patronised than mine.

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qian hu had all sorts of other fun things to do as well, like

1. feed the lazy oversized tortoises that are too fugly to be kept as pets!

must pay to feed okay. like $2 for a packet of tortoise food. haha going to botanic gardens and feeding them with mouldy bread would be a cheaper alternative.

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2. feed the overpopulated pond of coi!

who are so terribly starved that they automatically start swimming to you with their mouths open when you walk by. even the crocodiles at the crocodile farm get more to eat, i think.

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again, must pay to feed, but cannot smuggle one home to put in your pond for good luck.

3. catch long kang fishes!

you pay for a net and a plastic back to catch tiny and ordinary-looking fishes in little ponds that resemble long kangs just as i resemble angelina jolie.

haha would’ve quite fun if i were younger and more naive to think that fish would make the bestest kinds of pets ever.

lol qian hu fish farm also has Deco’s autographed football jersey displayed in a plastic frame to show off that mr football star patronised the farm to look at the fishes, although i couldnt not find any actual photographic evidence of him actually visiting the farm.

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i can smell Deco’s sweaty armpits!!

this marks the end of a very enjoyable visit to qian hu. i would recommend it for the experience of having little fish biting at your feet. but if you do go, take a cab there.

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